


The Four Hothead

by newbword



Category: Naruto, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Gen, Humor, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-15
Updated: 2015-03-23
Packaged: 2018-03-13 01:40:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3363056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/newbword/pseuds/newbword
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Random drabbles that highlight my favorite characters of Naruto and Attack on Titan. Eren with high sense of justice and vengeance. Jean with realistic and straightforward mind. Naruto with stubborn tenacity. And Kiba with brash confidence. And they happen to have the same temper. Mix them together and see what happens. Rating, genre, and pairing (if included) vary.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One Thing Leads to Another

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto characters as well as SnK characters.

* * *

Drabble #1: One Thing Leads to Another

Rated: T

Genre: Humor

* * *

The training is becoming more intense. Tired groans and murmurs of complaint are exchanged among the trainees. Some protest about the current harsh training. Some pick on from the lack of much needed breaks. And some grimace in dismay over their food, Choji being one of them.

"This is so cruel." He laments after he finishes most of his meal in less then five minutes, making sure every bit of crumb in his plate is taken care of and his bowl of gruel is licked clean. "I wish they give us some more. If this keeps goin', I'm gonna lose another five pounds by the end of this week."

The poor boy looks dejectedly at the remaining, still steaming, baby potato on his plate, mourning because this will be probably his last one for today. His chance to get some share of Sasha's smuggled food is almost zero, and he has given up his idea to compete with her long time ago, putting the blame on his nonexistent agility. Sasha also doesn't get her  _potato-girl_  nickname for nothing. Even if she out of her reluctant kindness shares some of her food like previous times, he will be still hungry, thanks to imbalanced amount of intense training to the meals served and (disappointing amount of share, but who is he to complain anyway? Across the table, Shikamaru sends his  _now-not-so-big-like-before_  friend a sympathetic look before he adds his own similar sentiment.

"Yeh. Not to mention our drills have barely any breaks in-between lately. I'm not getting enough sleep these days, and all these sores and pain that seem to never end ain't helpin' either. How troublesome."

He keeps his voice low because he doesn't want to upset a certain boy, who takes every training drill too seriously to the point he has almost zero tolerance toward anyone with a shitting attitude regarding the drills. Having loved peace and good rest since childhood, or maybe since he's in his mother's womb, Shikamaru usually avoids trouble. Unfortunately, his simple and harmless preference is one that brings trouble for him, because his (relaxed and lazy) demeanor happens to be in that person's list of shitty attitude. Shikamaru has learned his hard lesson well because,  _seriously_ , getting on Eren's bad side is way more troublesome than any of his lack of good rest and too much effort exercises combined. Heck, maybe even more troublesome than how screwed up this titan-infested world is.

Unlike Shikamaru who knows how to be subtle, Jean Kirstein is a total opposite. "Oi Jaeger. Can you spare poor Armin of your boasting? He's obviously too tired of it."

Said boy snaps his attention to Jean. Thankfully, Armin quickly interferes. "It's okay, Jean. Eren is trying to help me understand 3DMG control."

"Help? I don't know, Armin, if his  _yeah, I can do that_  or  _now I can do this_  can be considered a good advice. It sounds like he's bragging about his so-called achievements."

"I'm not-" Eren splutters and then frowns, pulling off his famous scowl to deny Jean's remark when his voice fails.

Smirking at his rival's reaction, Jean continues, "And besides, all of his advice is wrong. I have better tips if you-"

"What?! You got a problem with it, Kirstein!?" Eren spats back, loud enough to gain some attention from other trainees. "And you think you're better huh? I bet you can't do as much as half as my 3DMG tricks out there."

"Tricks?! You call them tricks? You do realize that they are basically a dozen ways to die by your own hands, do you?" Now fully facing the younger brunette from his seat, Jean shakes his head and snickers. "Oh wait. Of course, you don't. You're a suicidal bastard, that's why."

"COME AGAIN, HORSEFACE!?" Eren hollers and stands up, instantly silencing the mess hall. Majority of the squad watch expectantly because yeah, a fight between them is already inevitable by now. Jean really wants to punch him in the face for that disgraceful nickname, but first he has to wound his pride. It will be worth the show.

"All your maneuvers cost too much gas,  _dumbass_. You will run out of your gas before you're able to land a single killing blow on one titan. And I'm pretty sure it will be a  _priceless_  sight to see coming from you of all people."

Some snorts can be heard, but at least restrained, only Ymir's and Reiner's unabashedly loud. Marco and Armin shoot worried glances, and the latter can sense how extremely pissed his childhood friend is. Sadly for Jean, he mistakes Eren's reddened face as embarrassment and thus smirks in victory, not expecting him to cover the distance in big strides and-

"What the-"A fist comes and connects the older boy's jaw.

"I can't help it. Your smirk pisses me off. It looks bloody awful on your face of all people. Horses cannot smirk, remember?"

Jean instantly rises to his feet, and everyone knows what's going to happen next. Choppy insults stumble out between one or two punches, and sometimes kicks and knee jabs. Despite how worn out both boys are, their fight is heated and intense, keeping almost everyone's interest on the free show. No one notices Naruto and Kiba trudging their way tiredly to Shikamaru's table, carrying whatever's left and edible from the kitchen.

Not until Eren staggers backward and collides with Kiba, and...

"WHAT THE HELL!" Kiba yells angrily, after a moment of shocked gasps and the following tense silence. "Watch where you're going, man!" He glares murderously at the still standing culprit who just blinks at him.

"DAMN IT! THERE GOES MY FOOD!" He wails angrily and throws up both arms in exasperation, half-cursing in his mind why he has such a horrible day today. Having to run laps because of Naruto's stupid fault is torturing and unfair enough. And now... how he seriously wants to strangle that green-eyed boy to death, but later when that insanely strong and overprotective Mikasa out of sight, and out of smelling range just in case. Although he thinks he needs his dog to deal with impulsively resistant brunette later on.

Well. Whatever. What matters now is "Anyway, you gotta pay for-"

Suddenly a loud  _eeep_  booms across the hall, followed by a high-pitched  _Oh good Sina!_  from Mina. Getting curious of what's happening, Kiba stands on his feet and follows everyone's gaze which lands on-

Oh shit.

Annie is looking so pissed right now, like really truly pissed. Her usual inborn smile-less and cold expression which can be translated as her pissed off face does not even count. And the real reason lies on the innocent bowl resting on her head with its greasy content spilling down her face.

"I-It's Eren's fault!" Kiba immediately defends himself, not wanting the painful death that's going to befall upon him soon which her icy glare promises."

"H-Hey! It's Jean's!"

"H-huh!? WHA-"

"You're the one who pushes me!" Eren cries.

"Bastard, you're the one who loses your balance!" Jean's not going to be the scapegoat here.

"SO!?" 'Tis the same thing, you cause-"

"OH SHUT UP!" In that instant moment, everyone stares in utter shock and fear and  _silence_  at Annie who just yells, which breaks a new record in all history of mankind. "Either way, you're all dead meat." The way she says it sounds convincingly final.

"EHHHH!?" Kiba's the only one who's screaming while looking equally horrified like the other two culprits.

"I'm not going to let you hurt Eren." Mikasa immediately comes to the rescue, unfortunately only for Eren, with similar air of finality in her icy tone, glaring daggers at Annie who returns the same intensity.

The tension between two strongest trainees become so palpable that the atmosphere suddenly gets thick with a heavy pressure that can intimidate any titans, if possible. It may shatter every glass material if Leader Shadis doesn't enter the hall and demands what's going on. Marco volunteers to tell everything as it is, and states all the facts without taking anyone's side.

"Can't believe you are all still acting like some spoiled brats." Shadis let out a frustrated sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Anyway. Jaeger. Kirstein. Both of you are going to do all the laundry duty for the whole week, starting tomorrow. And Naruto, I would like you to share your meal with Kiba. He just loses his food."

"But I'm not involved in any of this!" Naruto immediately protests. Shadis's stony expression gives no way for any but's and excuses. His order is final.

"It should be Eren's, since he's the one who falls into Kiba." The blond tries to reason. "Or Jean's, since he causes Eren to fall. Or maybe both to make it fair." His reasoning turns into a ramble, trying to save his miraculously intact meal. At the same time, he tries hard to ignore the murderous glares from aforementioned boys.

"Or you, since you're the one who drags me to your shit. I'll be eating already right now, safe and sound, if I don't bother with your ramen crap." Kiba shoots back, emphasizing on the word  _safe_  and  _sound_.

"WHAT!? I'm not-"

"That sound reasonable enough!" Shadis sharply cuts off. "Having three of you to share your food will impose you to bear responsibility over the chaos that happens today." He shows off his infamous death glare where his scary red eyeballs almost pop out of their socket. "If I find you still fighting this night, I promise you an even worse punishment."

Shadis's threat and glare combined seem to do the trick, as none of the boys object but accept their consequences bitterly. He keeps watching them till their meals – which consists of 2 chunks of bread, 2 baby potatoes, and 2 and a half bowl of gruel – are evenly divided among each other. Even if they eat on one table, one can strongly feel a hostile and angry tension in the air. Though no words are exchanged, the rest of the trainees can obviously see the heated glare they send to each other. Well, at least a big catastrophe has been prevented.

For now.


	2. Just a Discussion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drabble #2 Just a Discussion
> 
> Genre: Humor
> 
> Rating: T
> 
> Summary: Thanks to Kiba, everyone mistakes ramen for some kind of rum.

"I miss ramen." whines Naruto one time during trainee break.

"In your dreams, Naruto. They don't serve ramen here. In fact, they  _cannot_  serve one." Shikamaru's sarcastic reply doesn't lighten up his childish sulky mood. It just only worsens his temper. Slamming hard on the poor table, he whines again, "Why NOT?"

"Uhh…Is there a problem?" Marco asks with a tentative but warm smile, being nice and friendly as always. His freckled face radiates such genuine concern that it's capable to make the grumpy boy feel quite ashamed for making him worried. The blond manages to return the smile, sheepishly, but not the reply.

"Heh. Naruto's just being ramen-deprived, that's all." Kiba answers for him, loud enough for everyone to hear because everyone in the mess hall is staring.

"Being what?" Armin pipes in, eyes big and curious.

"Ramen-deprived." Kiba reiterates slowly and is starting to enjoy the looks of interest of curiosity he receives from other trainees. He knows Naruto's impressive favoritism for ramen the past years, and it has been his source of fun to tease and ridicule his childhood friend.

"Never heard of it. Is that… even a word?" The ever-inquisitive and curious Armin asks again. After all, of the Shiganshina trio, he's the most passionate about books, new discovery, and knowledge stuff.

"Yep. It is!" comes a quick reply, and a bit tad enthusiastic too. Kiba knows he has to elaborate, and he's going to make it sound epic and hilarious. While his brain is working hard to find the right words to make it sound like a complicated disease, he starts to explain, but this time not hastily.

"Uhh…it means deprivation of ramen, and it's a…"  _what's the word again?_  "…something that affects your brain in a bad way like…" He's totally lost there and asks Shikamaru for help with a pleading look, only to be returned with  _I'm not playing your troublesome idea_  look. What a great friend he is, really.  _Damn you Shika_.

So, Kiba ends up exaggerating a bit by comparing it with endemic plague or chicken pox or any eye-catching illness he heard from public and school just to tell how  _seriously bad_  ramen-deprived is. He's running out of ideas, but manages to draw out surprised gasp and wide-eyed response from the audience, except one confused and suspicious blond.

Naruto narrows his eyes, feeling deep down that the mutt is trying to make fun of him though he quite misses what the brunette is trying to explain in the first place. What he knows for sure is that Kiba is up to something, trying to be cool in front of other trainees by saying complex stuffs and such but obviously struggling and making himself looks like an idiot. Only to his eyes, because most of the corps are interested. And it irks him, so "What are you getting at, Kiba?"

What comes next is so unexpected.

"He's basically saying that you're suffering an incurable hereditary mental syndrome, which is solely caused by deprivation of rum- how do you say it again?"

For a reply, it sounds way too technical for Naruto to understand and to top it all it comes from Eren of all people. The angry-looking. And titan-obsessed. And survey corps wannabe. Eren Jaeger.

Everyone is staring at the green-eyed boy like he's just sporting a new head, save for Mikasa and Armin. Eren just gawks at the incredulous attention, brows furrowing in a way that always makes him look angry. "What? I'm a doctor's son, ya know."

Oh. Now everyone knows he's a Jaeger's son for nothing, though they don't see it coming from him in the first place. Who does when all his passionate speeches are always about getting stronger and his daringly glorious (idiotic to Jean) quest to take down every titan in this world?

"But, don't you think it's a bit too exaggerating?" Armin breaks the silence, frowning in disbelief. "…for a mental disorder?" He clarifies because some are still hung up in shock over his unpredictable friend. It's highly probable they're relating to Eren when Armin brings up the word  _exaggeration_. Eren knowing technical medical stuffs and saying them like common words is not an overstatement now. Eren just shrugs, a gesture that can be understood by his childhood friend which says  _well I'm just saying what he's trying to say._  Jean then offers skeptically, "It sounds too far-fetched and unrealistic for me to believe it even exists."

"Well, I don't know guys." Thomas looks serious and contemplative. "It sounds scary and serious like the recent plague outside Wall Sina, remember? After the titans breached Wall Maria. And even it spreads inside Wall Sina too. Not to mention there are other weird diseases going on in other places."

"Oh. Are you referring to a strange incident of dying cattle and even wild animals in my hometown?" Sasha chirps, receiving a nod from Thomas.

"As if Naruto's syndrome has an endemic effect, can a mental disorder be contagious?" Jean arches his eyebrows in a smug way, knowing his realistic point of view can be proven. "It sounds like just a man who's addicted to some kind of rum."

"Who knows?" There's a glint of curious wonder in Reiner's eyes. "May be it can, since rum-aen or rum-whatever is never heard of. Just never thought you're a drunkard one, Naruto." The big guy flashes Naruto a teasing smirk and wink.

"H-huh?" comes the dumb reply and apparently dumb look from said teen. "I-I don't drink! What the hell are you up to this time, mutt-breath?" Kiba just gapes and looks as dumbfounded as Naruto, and manages a stutter in response which comes out quite unintelligible.

"Chill. He's just telling us what rumen-deprived is." Connie laughs. "Though it quite sounds interestingly curious. Tell me, what is this rum he's talking about?"

Saying the poor blond is shocked is an understatement, because he stands all clueless and confused and baffled at the same time. Thanks to everyone's sudden and expectant attention on him, making him stand still like a statue save for his blinking eyes. His mind is muddled with many unasked questions and mixed-up thoughts.  _What are they talking about, what's Kiba talking about that it ends up like this? What does ramen have to do with plague and sickness and stuff? Do they mistake ramen for some kind of rum? Does Kiba make fun of ramen? Or both, me included?_

Meanwhile, Kiba is trying to grasp of what's going on from recollecting of what has been said and thinking if he has miscommunicated some parts, though the idea of Naruto mistaken for being a drunkard is quite appealingly funny. A faint sigh breathes out next to him, definitely from Shikamaru. Despite looking bored and uninterested, he can tell Shikamaru must know a thing or two since he whispers something to Choji. Then, a choked snort breaks the silence. In the next moment, Choji is laughing his ass off.

It's quite amusing to witness multiple faces showing kinds of emotions, one by one muddled with confusion, until Shikamaru cannot withhold a snicker. And drops the bomb of truth with simple words.

"Ramen is not a beverage of rum. It's a dish of noodle with miso soup."

Supposedly, the answer alone should dissolve the lingering confusion, but it is not in this case. It seems almost no one knows about that particular dish or perhaps never realizes that it even exists in the first place. Sighing again, the lazy boy hates to feel obliged to explain, because Oriental dish is uncommon due to  _certain_ circumstances. Sparing a glance to Mikasa, Shikamaru tries to gauge any reaction from her, but to no avail since she's a queen of apathy and nonchalance.

And Naruto's untimely idiocy surely helps the situation at hand, asking Shikamaru like he knows every answer since he's a genius. "And what does it have to do with plague and diseases and such?"

Shikamaru resists the urge to groan. Seriously, how can anyone clean up this kind of mess, created by his two idiotic friends?

Not to mention everyone's now looking at him expectantly.


	3. Of the Same Feather

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drabble #3 Of the Same Feather
> 
> Rated: T
> 
> Genre: Humor/Friendship
> 
> Summary: they're in different team, but somehow flock together under one mutual interest.

 

Shadis is  _beyond_  exasperated.

Never in his whole life and past experience had he met a bunch of infuriating troublemakers. After all these years, his notorious reputation of being the harshest and strictest Training Corps Instructor has helped him through the toughest ordeals, such as dealing with pussy kids to troublesome brats to even stubborn rebels. But, he supposed he has to question that again if it is much true, because  _they_  are quite immune.

Or, as he observes a lot of times,  _they_  simply forget all the painful lessons and get so wrapped up in their own little world. And he learns not to underestimate the little sparks of rivalry going on between them because it can end up into a disaster.

Such as Naruto's and Kiba's stupid race against one another one time during a supposed-to-be 3DMG exercise, which sadly turns into a 3DMG show of competition. Or the horse stable catastrophe because Eren and Jean, out of their brilliant minds, made the place as their fighting arena, almost losing all horses if no one noticed them having been set loose. Or their taking opportunities of sparring exercises for their long-awaited physical brawl, to the extent that even bets are made secretly among other trainees.

Having to deal with Naruto and Kiba alone is emotionally challenging. Who knows they have a childhood rivalry in forms of crazy shenanigans and competition. He definitely doesn't need another one from Eren and Jean, although it's a different kind, formed out of contrasting worldviews, ideals, and values. There's really nothing wrong about their competitiveness or trying to best the other. No really, because Shadis himself appreciates rivalry among trainees. It motivates them and pushes their potential. However, these four boys is a different case.

An exception. A peculiar kind of exception. And what makes it peculiar?

It's their temper, he finds out.

Hot as a searing fire. Short to fuse and quick to snap. Raging and blazing, that every sensible part of their mind is believed to have been burned to crisp. No wonder they resort to fight with their fist. Their bodily instinct and violent excitement taking over.

And that same temper is what brings them together, eventually and unfortunate for Shadis' increasingly thin patience. Having to deal four of them altogether in whatever ruckus and shit they cause is a whole another story. Bless his soul. And now, it has even occupied more of the list as of lately.

Such as Kiba's coming up with animal nicknames so Naruto and Eren has a good share of it, which leads to the most intense argument they have ever had. Or just a simple switch of sparring partner that one time, which leads to a bragging and mocking contest who's the best fighter of the four. Shadis learns not to pair up either Naruto or Kiba with either Eren or Jean because instead of trying to separate of the two rivals, these four have become more like rivals against each other than before. Or the idea of punishing them altogether, which backfires than what is expected and creates a greater mess. And the list still goes on, but when these four boys are somehow involved together in one way or another for the uproar they cause, those calamities immediately fall into the  _unforgettable_  category. Forever burned into his memories, till he brings them to the grave.

Including today, as reported that a fight breaks loose.  _As usual_.

Not the usual bickering between Naruto and Kiba, or between Jean and Eren. No. This time, it's the four of them, he can tell so easily. Even as he hastens to the scene, he can hear string of curses and their battle cries halfway. Shadis heaves a sigh of frustration and clears his throat to prepare for the loud-mouth contest ahead. The moment he hears  _"Your idiocy almost fucking kill me, fishcake!"_ from Jean, he knows for sure this case is real serious. Half-dreading of what's to come, the corps leader half-hopes that they are not at each other's throat in the most literal sense this time.

_Damn. I don't sign up for handling these stubborn hotheads._

When he arrives, he is greeted with an aftermath of an ongoing fight. By means of ongoing fight, they're still wrestling and exchanging comebacks. Sighing again, he demands, voice loud as he can muster. Well, the better word is he just explodes, right on the spot where he arrives.

"CARE TO EXPLAIN WHAT THE HELL HAS JUST HAPPENED THIS TIME?!"

Apparently, it took quite a handful of  _you did this_  or  _you did that_  and unreliable explanations which he doesn't give a damn of before Shadis can catch on to the actual story, with his making sure the boys shut up first and letting the third party who's involved to tell the whole story. As expected, the story itself is an enigma. How they end up with a complicated mess from one thing which leads to another is one common characteristic of the troubles they cause. Like a fire which never ceases to burn when there's a fuel or something flammable. It may as well spread like wildfire.

Like when Naruto chose to relay his flag to Connie by throwing it in a distance of about a hundred feet, as first accounted by Connie in the story.

Like when the flag almost hit Jean when he arched upward, which could result in serious injury or death if Jean's flying fast enough, as emphasized by Jean himself.

Like when Jean swerved all of the sudden to Eren's direction and almost crashed against him. Fortunately, they managed to avoid the collision, but Eren couldn't avoid his depleted gas because of his reflex-based maneuver and has to be stuck among the lower branches of one tree.

Like when Kiba attempted to be not involved, but in actuality, he and Naruto were trying to outrace, or in this context, out-relay one another. It's another common knowledge that anything extreme from Naruto's action is highly based on his stubborn determination to beat his childhood rival.

When fire meets fire, there'll be no end to its burning licks. That's the natural principle of fire. And boy, they are like fire with their ever-present shitty temper acting like their fuel. Perhaps nature has her way to make them meet one another and rekindle their fury into this full-blown fiery mess. At least Shadis has tried, putting each of them in different team and expecting a smooth drill today, and it turns out to be the opposite. But what can be done anyway?

Such is the strange nature of their bond. After all, there is a saying birds of the same feather flock together. It's another inevitable principle of nature.

But now, he has to think of the  _right_  punishment for them. He absolutely can't punish them doing the same chores in the same vicinity. He won't repeat the same mistake.


	4. Scapegoat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drabble #4 Scapegoat
> 
> Rated: T
> 
> Genre: Humor
> 
> Pairing: Implied Ymir/Krista
> 
> Summary: Who knows Mikasa can come up with the best excuse(s) of the year?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mikasa's fart excuse is canon and can be looked up in youtube

Whenever Eren gets into trouble, Mikasa will always try to help him out. Receiving a punishment for his reckless and petty fights is no exception. She has warned him a lot of times, but knowing how rash he is, she is more likely ignored and worse, pushed away. So, in certain occurrence when Shadis is clueless of what happens, she takes the chance to lie so Eren won’t get punished.

 

Last time, she pulled it off really well. _“It was the sound of Sasha farting”_. And Shadis just gave a word or two to the poor girl and then left, no harsh penalties given. To compensate for her bad reputation and precious dignity, Mikasa gave her own bread and shoved it down her mouth, knowing Sasha would accept it even though she’s still shocked beyond words.

 

This time, Shadis enters the mess hall right after Eren stands on his feet, as he is about to shout back but then abruptly stops the urge. Eren is given a suspicious look, so before Shadis demands an answer from him, Mikasa volunteers to tell what happens.

 

“It was Choji’s burping.” Another excuse, of course, delivered nonchalantly as if it is just another report.

 

Choji instantly blanch, face stricken with utter shock. Shadis glances over the boy and lets out a smirk, a miniscule one, but it’s still a smirk. “Finally having a good fill down inside huh?”

 

The poor boy’s unable to respond, his brain still short-circuited. If anyone’s looking at him right now, his one hand clenching on his tummy and no trace of food before him on his plate, they will find that burp excuse is downright believable. The boy has just finished eating his meal, and his face pales right away as if he is caught red-handed.

 

“I expect you’re not going to complain anymore for lack of meals.”

 

Kiba cannot hold it anymore, letting out a muffled snort. Reiner looks like a red balloon right on the verge of bursting. Some trainees are covering their face with their hand to hide their unsuccessful attempt to not grin right on the spot. Some hide it by having their head rigidly facing down the tables. After Shadis walks out of the door, Naruto lets out a relieved sigh. “Phew. That was close,” and throws a cheeky grin toward Mikasa. “Heheh, that’s a good one.”

 

His gesture is returned with nothing, no smiles or even a glance back. The girl just takes her bread from his plate and walks over to Choji’s table, offering it. While looking at that tempting piece, Choji turns his longing stare into a total glare, demanding Mikasa with a curt tone, “Why do you say that?”

 

Sasha quickly pipes in, obviously taking Choji’s side by giving the same accusing glare. “Yeah. You also did that to me. How cruel!” Some snickers and giggles erupt in the mess hall because no one can ever live that epic fart excuse incident down, causing Braus to flush in deep humiliation with an angry pout. But Mikasa’s next apology drowns out all other sounds, her facing showing faint traces of regret.

 

“But still!” Sasha huffs, her face almost wrecking into a hopeless despair, because she will never live that down, that pure and downright morbid mortification. Choji’s constipated expression doesn’t fail to show that he shares the same sentiment.

 

“There should be a better way than to…” Choji supplies, but then struggles to put it into words.

 

“Put your food-oriented self-esteem in the line?” adds Ymir helpfully, her sarcasm earning a group of chuckles. When she then receives two pairs of glares from the only two trainees with said reputation, she casually says the next words with a small sly smile. “Hey! Ya know that it’s all for the sake of her little angry Eren.” Which without fail gives her another two glares from both Mikasa and Eren. If death glares could kill a person, she is already dead by now.

 

“Speaking of which,” Shikamaru speaks up. His head is tilted to the side and propped by one hand. Everyone knows it’s one of his usual lazy manners. Even the words are coming out with a drag. “Why does Mikasa pick on Choji and Sasha? Do you have kind of grudge against gluttons or something?”

 

The addressed question dawns a new revelation; suddenly an unspoken curiosity hangs heavy in the air. Before Mikasa has the chance to reply, Eren points out, “Yeah, you tend to do that when you force me to eat, ya know, by shoving food down my throat.” A frown scrunches his face as he remarks about it. How can it be something relevant, no one knows, but that statement is… intriguing.

 

Everyone’s now looking at Mikasa, and there she is, pressing the innocent bread to Choji’s willing mouth. Upon closer inspection, one can even see the bread has been bitten, or actually, it’s being chomped down inside as proven by a faint sound of teeth grinding against teeth. Feeling he’s also being stared at, Choji blinks stupidly and then swallows, his gulp being the loudest sound in the room. Since when does the whole mess hall become this quiet?

 

Choji suddenly feels so uncomfortable because of the eerie silence and agape looks thrown from some of the audience while Mikasa looks as impassive as ever. Embarrassment creeps up his face, making him unsure whether he should continue to take another bite or not, because he himself doesn’t realize he’s taking the offer and enjoying it. _Damn my appetite_. Then, a voice basically startles everyone out of their reverie.

 

“It’s the first thing that comes to mind.” Said voice comes from Mikasa. Noticing some people are not catching on and still stuck on their incredulous stares, she takes a deep sigh and clarifies again. “Because we’re in the mess hall, during meal hours, the food is the first thing that comes to mind, and…”

 

Okay. They get it, because it’s not that far-off to associate _food_ with Choji and Sasha, proven from their impressive appetite-related feats. Mikasa’s eye gestures speak enough of what the rest of her sentence is. Shikamaru’s eyebrow shoots up with a lazy amused smile from his lips while praising how a stoic Mikasa can come up with a simple but hilarious excuse. Choji feels so offended though, betrayed with the notion as if his burping sound can cover up a fight that’s almost going to happen. He doesn’t even burp, for The Wall’s sake; not even _that loud_ if he does! But Shadis believes her right away…so much for his stabbed tattered pride.

 

“At least you should say something less embarrassing than that!” Choji half-whines and half-growls.

 

“Hey, hey, at least you’ve got more grub in return! Quite a fair trade-off, isn’t it?” Naruto quite feels bad for Choji and attempts to comfort his childhood friend; well, he’s the one who receives the benefit on the end.

 

Except Connie doesn’t see his comforting words that way, and lets out a snicker. “Whoa, Naruto. You make it sound like it’s kind of a deal, you know. Like the kind of – sell your pride for more grubs.”

 

Ymir, who doesn’t want to be left behind, seizes the chance to add her own piece of sarcasm. “Don’t forget it is in a form of some excuse to save someone’s ass or more likely more asses from their _deserved_ _judgment_.” The trainees know who the tall girl’s talking about, or whose direction her not so subtle wiggling eyebrows aim at.

 

Eren and other certain boys you-know-who narrow their eyes at Ymir, who’s all smug and clearly unaffected. Kiba tries to deny her though by pointing out that he and Eren rarely fight because they are much more in good terms. Eren wants to say some lines too, but…

 

“Or maybe I can tell it’s the sound of Armin’s yelping because Ymir has mistaken again and just gropes his ass?”

 

Everyone’s jaw drops, and Ymir’s smugness’s gone in a flash while Krista flushes deep red.

 

That night, everyone witnesses how Mikasa can form a bad-ass smirk.


End file.
